Red flags are the warning signs that something is wrong. When you are transitioning in life, you have to be aware of these notifiers, as well as how to deal with them. In your friends, having red flags can mean much more, as those are people you may love, want to protect, or don’t want to lose. They are a connection to an identity that you once held, and you may feel like losing that person may be too much.

In this frustration of “things are not going right”, how to respond to those “red flags” can make all the difference. I want to cover a couple of options to let you know that there are ways out, and you are not stuck. Don’t feel bad either if the red flag has attached itself to your face so closely that you are seeing only through the fibers of the material, or if you have just held onto the red flag, knowing it is the only thing keeping you stuck in life. We all have to make choices.

In loss of self™ and just self-love, you have to know that this transition is needed to help you elevate your mind, increase positive energy availability, and designate a new path in the future. Today, these things may seem hard, and they are, but you have to remember that your spiritual journey is not to leave you in the same place, but to change you for the better. The test of getting rid, or giving up on some things is not only for you, but it happens to everyone (if you email me, I can share some of my experiences). The overarching concept though, is that your friends are to support you and keep you accountable.

So, here are those red flags:

• Don’t answer your phone calls or texts, but expect you to answer theirs
• Are more drawn to you when they need you
• Laugh at your dreams, don’t support you, or talk bad about you in “fun”
• Criticize you in some way to hold power or be the center of attention
• Walk away or get angry when you tell the truth, using silence as a weapon
• Keep you as a third wheel, but say you are equal to the other friends
• Know you are trying to stop a habit, but invite you to temptation
• Remind you only of the past “glory”, and that version of you

At times losing friends is the best way we can go, but don’t forget you have a couple of options before that. You can talk to them, ask about their behavior, and give them a chance to prove you wrong. You can ask others if you are missing something about that person’s behavior because the truth is that they may not want to “lose” you. For some, to accept your change means they have to see their faults, and they just don’t want to do that- they are just not for you anymore. The final option you have though, is that you can limit how much time you spend with them.

Nobody in this world is worth your one-sided self-sacrifice except God. I mean you can put out effort for a while with those who are not meeting your standards, but there is nobody that you should stay around losing yourself for, and that is quality customer service to yourself, or self-love. Being alone doesn’t have to mean you are lonely- start dropping the hold on those flags if you need to, and continue transitioning, so you can live as the best you- this is a full life of authenticity.