Clarity is something that I think the majority of people want. Clarity on their career, spouse, kids, and even themselves. The thing is, that most of us don’t know how to truly look for clarity because it is just something that has too many factors. The external factors are so infinite (haha) that we reduce it down to our own small perspective and try to rationalize it all. So, today, I want to share some ways to clarify a situation and how to love it!

To start, you need to look at all the people involved in your situation, so you, this person, their boss, or their spouse; so like the person and one from them. The reason being is that this person you are evaluating has influences in their world as well, which is why this can be so confusing. Though it is not always best to guess, for this exercise it is almost necessary to use empathy to guess what may be causing that person to react the way they are. So, after you get your person, and imagine where their influences are coming from, then start to ask some questions:

1. Ask questions about yourself- feelings, unraveling the event before and after, and where you stand now.
2. How do you own responsibility for your role in the event and how could you be seen as negative to them or yourself?
3. Now, this person that is causing your negative event, life transition, or PTSD, how have you encountered them and where? Do they have a special place they like to inflict these situations?
4. Evaluate how long they have been doing it to see if there is a pattern, or time frame when it occurs or started.
5. Evaluate your gut feeling(s) about what is happening, this person, and their influences, how are they played out?
6. How is this person affecting your behavior, and if your responses changed, would it change that person towards you?
7. If you are ready for a solution, what would be gained if it is resolved, what would you like to see take place, and what is your ideal outcome?

As you can see this can be a mind experience, and I love that about this exercise because if you can look at a situation from all sides, you may find compassion around the corner. It may be something like their family life is about to fall apart, or that they are dealing with suicide privately, when you start to ask questions about what is going on, you become in control, and you can love that! I love being in control, and control of my thoughts, but reducing life to our small perspective will never allow the full ability to understand how our lives overlap, and the ability to love another just for being on their spiritual journey. Start loving yourself by giving quality service of mental health to yourself through compassion, self-value, and empowerment., so that you can then share that refreshment with those who need it most.