Hi, my name is Tina. my “why“ is multifaceted. I want to help others if they ever find themselves where I have been and I wish to use the love that I have for my son to create something beautiful.

I became a single parent at the age of 17. I had a beautiful little boy that we named Sloan. He was absolutely perfect. His dad left for good when he was three weeks old. It did not take me long to recognize that I needed an education and a career in order to succeed and thrive. I had wanted to be a doctor, but that was going to be really difficult with a child. For the next so many years, I worked on being a mom & building a career. I didn’t date much, as I wanted to make sure I always put Sloan & I first. With hard work & sacrifices from both of us, I became an X-ray tech, then a nurse, and eventually, a nurse practitioner. Genuinely beating the odds and making our dreams come true, with career success most young single parents could never dream of…. But that success is only backstory, and not what this particular story is about.

On December 24, 2014, my entire world crashed when every parents worst nightmare occurred. Sloan had died suddenly & unexpectedly. Sloan & I grew up together and were always very close. I did not know how to function without him. Sloan was hilarious, making me laugh constantly. He was brilliant- always knowing some obscure trivia. He was caring- putting others (especially me) ahead of himself all the time. He had a real soft spot for anyone who was struggling & wanted to make the world better. He had told me so many times that he was going to take care of me when I was old. Who would take care of me now? I worried: am I going to grow old alone? I had dedicated my life to my career and my kid. As a Single parent my entire adult life, I felt I was missing so much of my identity. When people would ask if I had any kids, I would crumble.

As a nurse practitioner, who worked in the prison at the time, I quickly found I did not feel safe at work. I was supposed to be providing life-saving medications for others, and felt like I couldn’t even pay attention during a 20 minute appointment. I found myself thinking that I was genuinely going to make a mistake that was going to be devastating. I decided to take a non clinical job, as I just couldn’t function in that high stakes role in my mental state. Within 5 months I had lost my identity as a mom, as well as a nurse practitioner. I don’t think I really lived, I just existed. Barely. Several people had suggested to me that I get some professional help, but honestly the idea of sitting in a room to discuss how sad I was, didn’t sound appealing. The idea of a grief group was even worse, as I Thought that since I was sad all the time, I really didn’t need a designated time to prove that. I researched many options about caring for or easing grief and found none of them met my needs. Meanwhile, my family was amazing and so supportive. I am so grateful for the way that they cared for me and were always there for me. My sister, especially, took care of so much! For about 4 years I was simply lost. I traveled and I went to events and smiled for pictures, but did not feel whole. The best way I can describe that time is to say that I felt like a giant curtain had come down on my life when Sloan died, and everything that had happened before he died, was my REAL life, and everything that happened after he died, was just this ridiculous semblance of a life, but certainly NOT my life.

I felt like I had no purpose. I was sad every day. I cried almost every day. The world continued on without me. Nobody wants to be around somebody who is sad all the time. I remember the first day that I realized I hadn’t cried that day… Then I felt guilty because I hadn’t cried, and I cried. I started thinking I missed the experience of being a mom. I became obsessed with having another baby. Finally, after 3 years of trying, I became pregnant. I spent 8 months worrying about every little thing, but it was such a beautiful & easy pregnancy that I was so grateful for. I was 45 when Xavian was born. A perfect miracle & a wonderful gift. I finally felt I had a purpose again. Meanwhile, as I was no longer providing direct patient care, I needed to do something quick in order to maintain my licensure as a nurse practitioner. I decided that I would continue my education and get an additional certification for psychiatric care. Xavian was eight weeks old when I started a new graduate program to be a psychiatric nurse practitioner. I completed that program in two years. I learned so much about mental health & ways to improve mental health. as I was studying for boards, the idea of creating a platform for caring for a grief came to me. Within about three days I had more ideas flowing through my head that I knew what to do with. I created an LLC and started work on creating a website which would provide self-paced private grief support for those who wanted and alternative to traditional therapy. In essence, I created, but I felt like would have been helpful for me when I was drowning in my own grief.

The process of starting the company has been a lot slower than I would’ve preferred, I’ve been pretty busy with continuing to work full-time while caring for a busy toddler & continuing my education by working on a doctoral degree, but little by little it’s coming together! A beautiful web site that will offer therapy based exercises people can do on their own time. People who are grieving can find helpful articles as well as grief workbooks. There are also suggestions for someone helping another through grief. I hope to use what I have learned in my own grief journey as well in my education and work in psychiatry to help guide others to a quicker sense of peace after major loss. To get from the point of overwhelming grief to a place where you can speak about your loved one with a smile and with great pride. It is never an easy thing to grieve, but maybe it can be just a bit less isolating & devastating.