As stated in the newsletter (subscribe here) I have had my faith questioned, and it shook me. Why? Well because out of all of my titles in life, a believer in God was my most treasured. The relationship that I built with Him has afforded me so much insight into His vastness that my entire world felt as if it was coming down. Alone, dark, dead inside; these are only a few words to express the deep sadness that I felt, and for two weeks I walked around as an emotional wreck. How many of you are feeling the same way, but maybe just on a different topic?

When one feels the cognitive dissonance, or disgust in something that happens in life, it can quickly send us into defensive, shut down, isolation mode because nobody understands. It is as if even though the world can share infinite stories, they are not ours, they are not REL8™-able, and you will never be able to find a solution on your own. You know part of that statement is right… YOU will never be able to find the solution on your own. See, I am not writing you because I found the solution on my own, but because I saw a person who held onto faith, not in themselves, but in God. In those two weeks, I cried, screamed, prayed, felt lost, talked it out, and re-evaluated what I felt, but my health, my mental health, began to deplete.

“Nevertheless his health (or salvation) is nigh (to) men dreading him; (so) that glory (can) dwell in our land.”

Psalms 85: 9

In my Wycliffe Bible, I found something I never knew a while back, that health and salvation are the same. As stated, my health started to deplete, so in a way, my salvation started to deplete, and like a lot of others I felt alone, dark, dead, a deep sadness, and my foundation shook. Could it be that my beliefs really are wrong? Was that person right that believing in the Metaphysical/Spiritual Realm of God was wrong? Is it hard to believe that as a follower of God, I could not have a direct relationship with Him, even if I accepted Jesus?

“For why my thoughts be not your thoughts, and my ways be not your ways, saith the Lord.”

Isaiah 55:8

In these past two weeks, I found that my salvation was not in my hands. My lesson of a different meaning, and that was: my faith needed to be stronger, even within the wind of man because people who have their foundation shook will try to chop yours down. If someone feels that you are too far outside of their box, they will try to chop you down. If you have something that happened to you, your foundation too will be shook, and if you have done something, after the ego subsides, you too will find a shook foundation. So, what do you do? To begin, realize that we must all change for love, and to become better person. Next, know that God has always been that foundation- before you wanted to know Him, before you wanted to talk to Him, while you thought about/blasphemed Him- so, He also knows why you are feeling defensive and isolated too. It is not man that will understand, but God.

As stated, in my moment of being down, I did talk to others, but it wasn’t enough. I waited for the lesson, but as Proverbs 8 will tell you, to gain knowledge, you must have wisdom, and to have wisdom you must have endured prudence (knowledge to share – wisdom of lessons – prudence of endurance), so I had to wait. As you endure your prudence, I want to encourage you to know that God (the vast greatness that is of everything) made you for this moment and for this lesson, but if you cannot realize there is no shame, nor guilt holding you back from a loving, vengeful protector, and you are just a prayer, a cry, a scream, a venting session from the start a relationship with God/Jesus, then I need you to stop believing you were plopped on this earth for no reason. It is not about knowing why you are here, but accepting that you are here, and if you try your best to be your best, there is nothing holding you back from greatness!

“For your double shame and shame, they shall praise the part of them, for this thing they shall have peaceable double things…”

Isaiah 61:7

Watch this topic on the Bible Rave™ Now!

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