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Identity As A Mother: When Your Relationship Is Strained With Your Own Mother


Many women have an ongoing rival with their daughter. Some may find they compete on beauty, on time with your husband, or because they don’t turn out to be who you thought.

Many people actually don’t address the pain, or issue because it can be brushed off as rebellion, or just the way the child is, but let’s stop today, and speak a little further on it. As imagining a mother trying to have a healthy relationship while living in a cycle of strain with their own mother- this is hard, and stressful to be honest. As a new mother, you try to do so much differently, but in all honesty, it probably is failing at times. As any memory, I am sure not everything was bad, but it is important, so our minds remember the bad.

For those offended mothers saying “they did their best”, or “I don’t remembe”, remember a tree knows who cuts it down. On the other hand daughters, remember, our minds don’t always remember life clearly. It is with a grain of salt I say, if you aren’t living it now, start to let life cook this pain out. It is too easy to stick to a story, or not want to see the other person’s perspective, but life isn’t supposed go be like that- the middle ground is where the truth is.

So, in continuation, I want to cover some tips of how to move forward in hopes that you do not need the past to move you forward, as you retain your identity and love:

  • Remember your parents didn’t bring you into the world because they were perfect
  • Your memories are true to you, and nobody can shed that but you
  • It is okay and healthy to not continue opening a wound out the hope of change, but continue the relationship with a bandaid, while you heal
  • Your kids may recieve the love, value, and desires you had as a kid from your mother, but you should not be jealous, at least it’s there
  • You may remind your mother of a pain she doesn’t want to feel, so she pushes you away to not remember, to appear a superhero, or not open her wounds of failure

At this point, I question if we are not all purposefully given childhood wounds to start our life lessons, guidance, path, and elevation of self/love though healing. No matter the reasoning it happens, but it is up to you to heal, and tend to the earth (land, people, life) around you, so Move Forward in Love!™

Tag: words

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