Hi, my name is Samantha Santiago. I’m 34 years old and my story is “Identity in God”.

When I was growing up, I was in God lessons everyday, but Saturday. I went and participated in as much as I could because I felt special at the front, but what I did notice in all of this is that I was distracted. I was distracted in thoughts of others, different perspectives of the room, and where my life was going. I did not get why I could not focus on what I thought was right, and it stood out.

As I grew older, I stopped going to church for a reason, but for duty. The experiences I was having did not prove community, loving, or pure from the kids my age, and the adults just seemed to use coffee hour as a social hour. I loved playing after church, but I didn’t have true friends there, just those that got me by. I thought this was normal, and so after a while, I decided I had enough.

As college came, I was wearing a cross, but not going to church. I was into drinking and partying, but that inability to connect to God deeper was a problem. I found that I loved those that didn’t love me, let people stay around longer than they should have, didn’t listen to those that would break my heart, and sough love more fervently than I did God. This lifestyle brought many amazing memories, but also many days of depression, tears, and self-value issues. I depleted myself in search of what I yearned, and had nobody that was regenerating me.

One day I was throwing up over a toilet, and hated myself- that is when I changed. From that moment forward I sought to change, and in turn, came to a point to ask God to seek Him, to know Him, and it was granted. I learned that D-Branes in Quantum Mechanics is like emotions, which led me to the fact that we run on energy waves, so our emotions have high spikes when we are happy, low ones when we are sad, and if they are peaking close together we are excited, and if they are far apart, we are depressed. I learned that if you take that wave, and put another neutral based line through it, and turn it to the side, you have the dollar sign, which we all in a way sell ourselves from our true purpose or emotional experiences. I learned that Metaphysics is all through the Bible with teleportation (Eunuch story Acts 8), Enoch going to heaven twice (Genisis 5:21-25), Angels having kids with humans (Genisis 6:1-3, donkeys speaking (Numbers 22: 21-35), stones/gems being important (Revelations 22:19-22), spirits being sent by God for lying (2 Chronicles 18:21), God having human characteristics, Wisdom or the Holy Spirit is male and female (Proverbs 8 & 9), the water turning to wine (John 2: 1-11), and more.

I learned that reading outside the Bible lead me to more understanding of what is in the Bible, how religions tie together, love is the guiding principle, God is Singularity, Jesus is the literal word from God’s mouth, and Jesus is God’s son, while Wisdom is His mother as so “knowing all” plus “having wisdom” will create “understanding” [or Jesus]. I know now that Science and Religion cannot be separated because you cannot understand the entireness of who God is or what He has done because He lives in all believers/non-believers, as well as inanimate/animate objects. In knowing God, I have come to a new sense of self, where I respect myself, people, and things more. Now, I look to children as not blank slates, but pre-informed individuals that need help refining their skills because they can.

I found that in my self-seeking, people want to be seen and heard, so I began to view life in a THM™ lens (Theocentric Holistic Metaphysics). A God centered, mind, body, spirit/soul of all that is and is not, way because we are multifaceted, just as God. In honesty, by me seeking God, I have been able to create a new lifestyle from such a broken state that now I am able to share all I have learned with you! My Identity + Love is from knowing the Trinity, and how my past creates a future based on my lessons of refinement. I still struggle at times, but providing others with self-help resources to overcome is a mission at this point. I realize now that so many people are missing life, so I want to step out in faith each day, and let God work through me. to help guide others!