Calling your voice back home in life, love, and business actually comes down to one thing- standing up for yourself. In life, like loss of self™, you get bashed; you silence yourself as you question the world around you, your self-esteem, and your ability to be validated the future. When I was growing up, I remember being shut down by someone on my cheerleading team. She told others to gather around, right after I said to step back so I could attempt this (terrifying) stunt.
For many of us, holding our temper or words is a skill we learn in these hollowing moments, but there are also those moments that cause you to speak out without stopping to think. In my story, this is exactly what happened. As she contradicted what I said, I lined up in position, I turned around, and said something to the affect of, “are you the flyer?” (the person in the air). She looked stunned, I continued with something like, “then back up”. In this moment I am sure it solidified her dislike of me, but the truth is I didn’t care; everyone backed up.
In some moments, you really just can’t care. If you ask for something- knowing what you need- and you are blatantly disrespected, a light goes off, and your inner-self takes over. In some cases this can be bad, like blacking out with rage, but in life, love, and business, you might find an employee, coworker, lover, or friend, firing back at you like you have never seen before. You may call it a “nervous breakdown”, but is it? Maybe the truth is that this person has held in every crass word you thought they didn’t hear you say about them; every insult you said to make yourself look better; or every jab you took at them to increase someone’s acceptance of you.
When I called my voice back, in that moment I stood for myself and it was heard. The next day, her “friend” came up to me and said “that was so cool”, her eyes wide. She said, “I have always wanted to say something like that to her!”, her eyes glimmered with hope that this girl’s reign was ceasing. I was stunned. I thought her kingdom was healthy, but in fact it was the opposite. Those loyals just stayed in the status, waiting for her demise, and as I was heard, my voice rang a crack into her fortress.
As you may be the person receiving those “nervous breakdowns” from another, you should ponder if others are feeling the same- this girl’s friends were. In life, love, and business calling your voice isn’t demanding respect of what you say, but confidently restores your spirit from within, that was never hurt from the world. To share your feelings, no matter how people fear it or say you are losing it, doesn’t mean you are ballistic, it means you are authentic. If you want to try and call your voice back try these steps:
- Reflect. Sit and think when your voice started to go, what event happened, and was the silence a coping mechanism, spite, etc.?
- Pray. Sit in that knowing and share with God and yourself that you have found what it is, have sat in the feelings, and want to release it.
- You can address that person, or yourself. Addressing yourself is a talk in the mirror stating that you apologize, but you did it for this reason, and your future plan is to xyz so it doesn’t happen again.
- Take baby steps. Speak up with a “no”, an opinion, or maybe even “I heard you say that”. Say what you need to (without spite and ego) so you build boundaries, confidence, and faith in your authentic voice.
In doing these 4 steps you will become a power for your own voice. Just like my cheerleader teammate, they didn’t cross me again. If it is an employee, friend, or significant other, they should respect your boundaries, but if they don’t, you have the power to choose if they stay. Don’t be afraid to call your voice as many times as you need to. Your authenticity is the key to the life you desire, a healthy business, or the ability to truly connect.
CONFIDENCE + FAITH™ Can Help You:
Join The Movement
“I believe that if you understand your broken love, you can change yourself, your relationships, and the world.”
– Samantha Santiago, Ph.D., M.B.A.
If you liked this content, get more! Join the others like you, who want to focus on their business, life, and love relationships, to be loved, love themselves, and love their life!
*Please share with whomever needs this.