If I could make my pet understand one thing, it would be that every child has to move over for the new child.
When my child came, my dog was the baby. I mean I had clothes, and we cuddled, and so on. I had never had a dog, so this was amazing, but when I had my baby his world totally changed. I mean he was depressed, but protective over the baby. He was jealous, but never mean, just trying to fit in. I felt terrible because with all the life changes (lack of sleep, excess crying, relationship instability) it was too much to add on the same level of care I first gave our dog.
In loss of self, I am sure, just like my dog, there are two ways to handle large changes like this. The first is that you disregard your inner-self for those around you, and the second is that you feel disregarded as you notice how much your friends are balancing in their own lives. In either scenario, these tactics are something nobody will know but you, and to be someone who is feeling either of these ways, I want to share some things with you.
- When you shun your inner-self to see others happy- your happiness and health is just as important because when you don’t take care of yourself, you will crumble at the fact that you don’t know you or how to have time for you. You can be happy alone, and enjoying the sun while I (or someone else) struggles with the weight of their world.
- When you just hold it in because someone else has too much- you will implode by not knowing how to release your inner thoughts because though everyone has weight and responsibilities, in moderation anyone can have time for you. You can become mutual stress relievers, and create a stronger bond for you and your friend.
Many a time, you will find that when you help others, it helps relieves your stress. I know that when my dog came around to cuddle during my quiet time, or just gave a quick lick, knowing I was stressed, it was the best feeling in the world. I wish my dog would have known how much his presence was appreciated, though my physical being was not showing him that. I know when he died though, I had made amends, and cried my sorrows to him, and for anyone who thinks it is too late to be important, know that no matter what stage of loss of self, or what stage of life you are in, nothing is every saying, “there is no room for you”.