I am most scared to lose love. I think it is kind of deep, but for my loss of self story, this is what I have wanted the most in my life, and so to lose it would be like Abraham sacrificing Isaac after waiting 91 years for his arrival. I think that the only reason I would do it would be because they were suffering. I would give up love if I knew that love was not able to live in or with love…other than that, I am sticking with it.
In my loss of self story, I was deprived of love because of my own thoughts, but also because others didn’t want to be in serious relationships with me, like I did with them. It was very hard, on several occasions, I believe I may have fallen in love with people who liked me, but wanted to see if I was the “right one”, and that cost them me, or us. In reality though, did it? If I would have stayed with them, I would not be where I am today, and today’s love is better than any love from the past because those loves were earthly (based in attraction, and lust). I lusted them wanting me, and I lusted them in a relationship with me. I felt that if I loved them, they should love me, but like in all scenarios, each person has a choice, and I was not it for them, which is why we were never able to be. So, in reality, for anyone questioning if they should stay or go, I say go, unless you feel that it can work. Your love is not a commodity, it is your guiding rational principle, and lifeline of experience. Do not short yourself because you wish they loved you, but look at their actions, and believe their words.
