When communicating with others, at times it seems that it is just talking. At times it may seem it is just listening, but the truth is that it is a balance that takes time and effort to master. Today, I want to talk about how to communicate in good and bad situations because I know it has helped me!

When I was breaking out of loss of self™ I was snappy, always protecting myself, and not letting anyone treat me like a little girl or dumb. It was something I had encountered many times, and grew to fight for my personal and intelligence respect. I will say, if you have gotten over these, or are in the process, don’t be alarmed if you get triggered, that pride may start to get in the way, but just step back and evaluate.

Now, back to how you may be like I was, snappy and protective. In life it is easy to protect yourself in that way because that pain resides within, but the snappiness does not make for good conversation, or even another person wanting to open the figurative door to hear you out. Yes, as stated before there is talking and listening, but most importantly there is respect. See, when you are in any discussion, you have to have mutual respect. Normally it is because it is another human, but nonetheless less this is the foundation.

When you are in a good mood this comes easily, oh this person has something to say and the nice thing to do is listen, so you do, but what happens on a bad day? I know I have just brushed people off and that compassion doesn’t stand a chance against my negative emotions trying to take over. So for you this may be the same, but what if it is not a stranger, but a loved one, do you act the same? I have. When you do this, have you not just erased respect for that person and left them feeling a certain kind of way?

To get past this and effectively communicate when you are in a good or bad situations here are some tips:

• Use “I” when you are communicating, when you say “you” it creates hostility as that person is now trying to defend their character.
• Talk clearly and slowly as much as you can so that you can feel emotions start, and take an extra breathe when needed.
• Listen without coming to a new statement to say, this allows you to be present and not be in a defensive state all the time (you won’t forget the right things to say).
• If you are confused, or make an assumption based on information given, ask if that is what is being said instead of continuing your conversation on it.
• If you feel offended for instance, say it, don’t be afraid to express the exact thing, and if it is used as a weapon against you later, then you know you have to talk to your other, or find another other.
• If you need a break, speak up; ask for a moment, say you need to walk away but will be right back, or just sit in the silence.
• Remember silence is okay, at times it allows for thought, reconstruction of conversation, and actual realization

Communication happens all the time in life, love, and business, and this is where a lot of our broken love comes from. Many people, probably yourself, just want to be loved, heard, and seen, and I will tell you that quality communication can provide all of these things and more. The best part after a good or bad moment of communication is the physical touch of hand holding, hugs, wrapping your arm around another, forehead kisses, etc. because that is what reconnects you and that person in real time, and starts the positive energy of compassion, love, and understanding flowing again. If you are in a business situation, try a high-five, fist bump, or celebratory cheer.

CONFIDENCE + FAITH™ Can Help You: