In loss of self™ changing for a better life is what you do. You want more security, more support, more acceptance, more love, and so on. You change so that you can fulfill your need of being loved again, being someone again, and being okay again. Many times with the negative events, life transitions, or PTSD experiences the negative sentiments don’t run away, they linger, they go dormant, or they repress. It is like an emotional soda bottle, and one day after shaking is so much it just explodes, but life shouldn’t be that way in or out of loss of self™. Life should be a place of slight frustration, but merry- just like row your boat song.
For me, I still recognize fear of not being accepted, and so I look for ways to feel accepted because it brings security- DISCLAIMER: it is okay to know that you don’t feel safe and want to feel safety and wholeness again. Truthfully in calling it something, its power is lost to a degree, and at times a large degree. Once you can name or label something it cannot consume you because you control it. I mean think about it, a bandit running away with a mask and a million dollars, with cops saying stop and put your hands up vs. this same bandit running with their mask and money on, and a cop says timothy if you don’t stop and just put your hands up. The power is in the label.
In changing for more, better, or refined, something has to happen that makes you stop just grabbing for the next thing, mark, or goal, and instead work towards something that makes you feel whole, cared for, and full. In my journey I have wanted cars and job titles, thinking it was going to change my life, but I have stopped this process. I want to share with you that my desire to truly focus on changing for what was important, was the game changer. What I found is that when I received my “wants”, they were not what I needed. I sat unfulfilled and at a lower level of happiness than I expected. I even had the God-humor pleasure of seeing that what I already had, had been better the whole time.
Today, I want you to question why you want to change, what you want to change, and for whom you want to change because this honesty is where the blessings come. In knowing honestly that you are working extra hours to purchase something for the family is one thing, but if your family is saying be home or we don’t want anything, pay attention. Listening is the best thing you can do in change because it will be a guider, leading to a group’s overall happiness, but as a person, listening to the things you complain about frequently is a sign of what your subconscious mind knows, and is trying to force you to hear. In knowing this information, I hope your change for more will have a higher success rate, because as someone that has been there, that is all I want for you!
CONFIDENCE + FAITH™ Can Help You:
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“I believe that if you understand your broken love, you can change yourself, your relationships, and the world.”
– Samantha Santiago, Ph.D., M.B.A.
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