In life, love, or business, how many times do you hear yourself or another saying, “it’s technically working” in some fashion or another? Do you realize that this statement actually says, “it is not truly, but just kind of sort of working”, and if you stop there, omitting a “but”, your pause notifies the listener, that you are satisfied in this space in a way? If you are feeling like you are saying these things, and you aren’t satisfied, maybe you feel stuck in some aspect of life because you feel safe. Realize safe as in “technically working”, isn’t working anymore.
In my loss of self™ story, honestly I didn’t know how much was “technically working”, but upon evaluation it was obvious a technicality that was happening, and I just thought it was working. I was blinded as I sat covered in band-aids and false perception because I was confused about things, not knowing where to turn for help, and just worried it would be used against me, or I would be ignored. I wondered and pondered, coming to my own conclusions, but in honesty, my band-aids were of metal, and ice, and if this is you, I have a question- do you resent anything?
In my situation I did. Anger was my vice because I resented the fact I felt alone, people didn’t treat me the way I wanted, I felt I couldn’t do anything about my life, and that I was “not enough”. Though the anger surged so many times, my metal band-aids and ice only protected me for so long because as I knew what was not going to hurt me anymore, I didn’t have a clue what still could. I found with all the protection, the weapon used against me was not a blunt cold object, as I thought, but a hot piercing one that I was not ready for- it was accuracy.
In loss of self™ accuracy of your situation is needed so that you can move forward, address what is wrong, and know how to at least see some light. In parenting situations, it helps you pause when you know you are getting triggered to choose a new path, but if you are bandaged with false perception of life and self, each trigger or spiritual attack may feel like a new area of you is broken. This is not true and it keeps you stuck. A lot of the time your identity is what’s hurting and underneath your protection, the heat penetrates “you” in anger, love, and irritation.
When you are angry, your physical temperature rises. If you are loved, your internal body temperature rises. If you are irritated, something has come so close it has rubbed against you to the point heat is created. I realized in my evaluation that band-aids of metal and protection of ice could never fully sustain the heat of accuracy. As the metal heated, it burned, and as the ice heated it melted, so the weapon of accuracy targeted the key facets of why I thrived in life. For myself, the ego was the hard exterior I had, then the cold heart, and finally the numbness to life, but as resentment can only be stopped with feelings of safety, excitement, and stability, these techniques didn’t protect.
When you look at those bandages and protective layers, this is why it goes wrong:
- your inner child wants to be heard, seen, and healed, so your ego protects your emotions so you don’t feel angry you are lacking these
- your heart and spirit need love to experience and find companionship, but it blocks the very love that brings life
- your numbness means you want to succeed because you fear the irritation of coming so close to what you want and failing
- The Truth: you cannot protect your “you” because it is your essence, or the spiritual life to your physical form
Loss of self™ is not a stopping point, it has an exit door. I opened mine with each book, thought, and conversation. I peeled back the band-aids and ice cycles revealing wounds for what they were, not what I thought, and I actually found some had healed. In protection, I was not able to see my healing, but today you get to choose. “You” can find freedom as it happens in stages, because negative events, life transitions, or PTSD experiences are going to happen. It’s time to rip off the protection from guilt, shame, and embarrassment, focus on who you are, and do what you were made to do.
If you want help on unveiling your wounds or rediscovering who you were made to be use this form. If you have a client/business to suggest, use this form. It is time to let go of the resentment, and make life one that you are proud of living- this is your exit door.